Thoughts on overachieving, burn out and academic validation

Overachieving ruined my life.

Okay I admit it’s a tad bit dramatic, but just go along with it, okay?

Now you might be wondering, over achieving ruined your life? Why? It's perfect right, not only do you succeed, you excel. You’re no longer average, you're exceptional, you have surpassed all expectations and made everyone around you happy.

I mean coming from personal experience, where everything seemed good on the outside - good grades, president of my school, big dreams to go to Yale, hard working, put studying above all aspects of my life. Perfection on the outside, but far from it on the inside. I was burnt out, tired of trying to be everything to everyone, tired of fulfilling expectations that now seemed unattainable. I was just simply tired.

And for some odd reason, I thought I was wrong for feeling this way.

There is this trope in our culture today, to always be the best.

Quotes like

“sometimes you fail and sometimes you succeed, except for me, i always succeed’

“i don't care about friendships, relationships or vacations, i only care about my success”

“have a one track mind”

Quotes like this leave no space for your growth, which is ironic since grades are for your growth, they make you believe that failing is the end of the world, make you believe that relationships and friendships amount to nothing against a number on a paper. But worst of all they make these numbers your identity. For the longest time I deprived myself of having fun, of going out, of doing anything that wasn’t related to me and my books.

They make you so unidimensional as a human being, that you don’t see past what you want to see. They make you - boring.

They make you believe your only personality trait is academic validation. They cause you to see failure as a set back instead of a step forward. I can’t even begin to express how incredibly imperative it is to fail, because failing is the greatest teacher of them all and it is only when you fail that you can succeed. In fact I was happier losing an election than winning one, funny how life works out.

I cant even explain how important it is to rest, to recoup, to nurture the relationships you value, to take a walk, to see the beauty in the very thing you study about, to not beat yourself about wanting human connections - both romantic and platonic.

Because that’s what life is about, failing, making mistakes, changing, learning, growing and inevitably failing again. Making memories and enjoying yourself, because guess what you are only here for a short while.

So work, and work bloody hard, have a purpose, be motivated, but make it a part of your life, not your whole existence.

Start living. Start resting. Start growing.

Sarah Makani